Sonic Adventure is a frustrating piece of shit. Sorry. I’m just really angry. For some reason, I decided to buy the game during Sega’s sale on Playstation Network. And now it’s time to talk about the growing pains of video games! The early days of 3D games are strange. Very, very strange. We had plenty of bad voice acting, awful story writing, and broken gameplay mechanics! How fun! Just listening to any of the dialogue in Sonic Adventure makes my brain want to explode. The weird, awkward pauses that make you uncomfortable, the awful, nonsensical storyline, and the borderline broken gameplay mechanics that are emphasized throughout half the game. We had plenty of growing pains back in these days of gaming and it’s pretty insane to see how far we’ve gone. (Okay, maybe Sonic has gone that far. Sonic Generations and Sonic Colors were pretty good though, right? Oh, but that new Sonic Boom game is supposed to be garbage. Sega, what is wrong with you? MAKE UP YOUR MIND! DO YOU WANNA MAKE GOOD OR BAD SONIC GAMES?
But it isn’t just Sonic Adventure. Remember Goldeneye and how much you think you love it? You probably don’t. The game barely works too. It does not hold up. We live in an era of well-developed first-person shooters like Call of Duty, Battlefield, and Halo. And beyond that, the Nintendo 64 controller is incredibly awkward (even if I almost sort of love it for its awkwardness) and isn’t really designed for shooters in any way whatsoever. But at the time, Goldeneye was praised to no end (and so was Sonic Adventure). It’s almost hard to believe these games were incredibly well received at the time, which really shows how different video games were back then. There was almost an absurd amount of growing pains games had to go through in the era of Nintendo 64 and Playstation One.
Even looking at Super Mario 64 which is one of the few games that does hold-up really well from the era, it is still littered in glitches and other problems, including camera ones. Most games in this era had mediocre to awful cameras that really just didn’t work so well. I’m not claiming Super Mario 64 is a bad game by any means, it’s actually one of my favorite games of all time, but it still couldn’t be prevented from being hindered from the age of strange 3D games that sorta kinda worked.
If we go ahead and look at a lot of Playstation One games like Final Fantasy VII and Metal Gear Solid, they are filled with blocky graphics that don’t look so well today. Again, not bad games, (I’m actually not crazy about Final Fantasy VII, and I’m not afraid to admit that) but the age of shitty 3D graphics prevent them from aging well. And really, Metal Gear Solid is one of the few rare examples during this era that actually had a great story, great voice acting, and was very “movie-like” just in terms of storytelling qualities.
I’m not saying that the PSone, Sega Dreamcast, and Nintendo 64 era didn’t produce any quality. I just think it is really easy to signify this era as a strange one filled with an excessive amount of “growing pains.” Video games were still trying to find their footing and have now, for the most part, reached an era where that footing is pretty balanced. Games are now absurdly movie-like and have massive sweeping stories and gameplay elements that are making them the most interesting medium available. Uncharted is better than Indiana Jones. (Yeah I said it.) I just find it really strange to look back at the mid to late 90s and how ridiculous some of these games are. We were a lot more forgiving back then. I don’t know if that was a good thing. Seriously, fuck Sonic Adventure.
Author of this post (and the only author ever on this blog):
Jesse Jordon is an aspiring faux writer who writes this garbage on these blogs to make you laugh or learn something I guess. (Wait, why am I mixing 3rd and 1st person point of view when I’m the only one writing this?) You can follow him on Twitter @jjordon96 (if you want I guess). You can also purchase his first self-published book On Human Empathy for only $5.00 (you can buy literature or coffee, it’s up to you to decide. I’d go with the coffee personally). (I think I just said my book was shit.)